We do not have to tolerate toxic bullshit from anyone, any longer.
We are grown! We are aware! We are spiritual beings pursuing life fulfillment! We have the power and the right to exercise choice! How uplifting!
We can choose to self protect.
Self protection is a chameleon who can assume layers of insulation for our own well being. Creating boundaries, making and keeping promises to ourselves, saying no, backing away with love or breaking off completely.
We tend to believe that because we share a bloodline or history with people that we cannot paint them into our picture differently or out of our picture entirely. We are beholden to them forever. But that is not true, or it doesn’t have to be if we choose otherwise. We can choose who we allow to participate in our lives and to what depth they exist in our world.
Even family members. Yes, I mean it- even family members. Just because we happen to share the same family tree does not mean that our families are loving, safe, kind humans who have the ability to support others in a healthy way. Or people whom perhaps are childhood friends or someone who has been a part of our lives for many years. If they are toxic, we must reevaluate why they are allowed to participate in our life. We are not obligated to continue those relationships in ways that hurt or stifle us.
For many years I existed to fulfill responsibility and obligation. Being what I thought I should be for others. Becoming what I thought the perfect- fill in the blank- should appear as to the world. I existed in this hamster wheel that I relegated myself to that never stopped spinning because the demands and expectations never stopped. Not until I got off of that wheel.
The last 4 years and especially the last year through my darkness into awakening and acting on my inner feelings and desires I have found the courage to not act on obligations with people any longer. I act on my feelings, my gut. I do things because I want to do them. I am working on cutting myself out of the web of emotional entanglement I was born into and existed in for a very long time because I didn’t know any better. I know better now. I continue to learn more.
I have the right to peace, freedom and contentment.
The process of reshaping the who and how and why of our personal connections does not have to be nasty or vindictive or discussed. It can be a decision and an action plan for change on our behalf.We can let that individual go with love and understanding that they are doing their best in their life. That our paths a veering apart. We can aim to depersonalize some of those hurts, recognizing it may be unintentional. But we do not have to continue interactions in the same way as before. Grieving the loss of what was and what will never be in certain connections is painful. However, the shift can be liberating and freeing as we recognize the weight has been removed and we can spread our wings. Beginning new journeys and habits is tough work. It’s a task not for the faint of heart. Those changes require consistency and vigilance to root and grow inside of us. They require support. Support of others, books, podcasts, therapy, meditation. Change requires belief and confidence in the power of the outcome. We cannot doubt that we are worthy of being healthy; physically, emotionally and spiritually. We have to live our truth.
What are your thoughts about this post? Do you share my beliefs? Comment below.