Prickly

Ever have moments or days or weeks where you feel prickly? Your skin is creepy crawly and you feel a buzz of energy around your body. Like when you get too close to an electrical fence.

I do.

I am the epitome of hyper sensitive.

I am an irritable hangnail on your dominant hand.

A persistently stubborn toothache.

Everything riles me up and pisses me off.

My hairs are literally standing on end.

I am yelling that no one listens to me until I scream like a bat shit crazy lunatic.

I am irate at the sticky fingerprints on the refrigerator door that I have wiped off at least 100 times in the last day.

Nobody touch me. Nobody speak cross to me. Nobody look at me sideways. Nobody breathe too loudly in my presence.

And don’t dare ask “Oh?! That time of the month?”. Unless you have a death wish.

The whole entire world appears as though it is out to cut me down.

Life is trying to swallow me up.

Nothing feels right.

Nothing is right.

My anxiety peaks and my patience plummets.

The universe is topsy turvy.

I get squirrely and surly and salty.

It usually indicates something deeper inside of me going on that I am unaware of or unable or unwilling to deal with. Or it means that I am not giving myself enough self-care. I have over-planned or over-stretched myself or over-reached my personal capabilities.

I am just like a cactus, prickly. Don’t get too close. It’s not safe.

How do I find peace? What calms me? Waxy soft and full like a succulent. Self- awareness *Sigh* The duality of insight into myself. The beauty and power in the clarity of recognizing my own needs. The burden of accepting and fulfilling my own needs. Rather than relying on the dissatisfaction that ultimately accompanies filling the void with other…..*fill in the blank.

Over the years, I have used many “things” and “people” to try to file down my pricklys. I have experienced the haphazard and lackluster results of that strategy. But sometimes it just feels easier and faster to employ a quick fix. Even though I know ultimately that fix is hollow.

I recognize I am not alone with this ramshackle gimmick. I certainly didn’t invent the whole stuff yourself and your surroundings with meaningless toys and gadgets and sugary shit foods and 1000 social media friends approach. The world at large is riddled with people just like me. A bunch of cacti in the desert, unable to get too close to one another, shallow widespread roots. We are all searching to be quenched.

I know what satiates me. My family, my writing, my tribe, exercise, the beach, music.

What quenches your soul my prickly friends?

xxxxxxx

Melissa

7 thoughts on “Prickly

  1. i hate the “crawling out of your skin” agitation. everything gets so fast; i feel compelled to rush and race to get in front of the thoughts and feelings. you describe this so well. what works for me? getting outside, even better if it’s windy. reading an old book i love. time to myself to come down.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes, time to myself so I don’t lash out on undeserving others

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I feel like at this exact moment, my feet are tingle and my whole body is sore and i cant stop shaking my knee as I write this.

    Like

    1. I find a little bit of peace in knowing that I am not alone in feeling like one of those urban legends of human spontaneous combustion. But I feel for you experiencing the itch that just can’t be scratched.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Wow! You are most certainly not alone. I am at the height of the “prickly” right now… Hypersensitive, taking everything personal. Very emotional. I know some of the things I need to do, sometimes I refuse! I’d rather stare at a mindless TV show. Forcing myself to get up and outside, work in the yard, listen to music, write, quilt, go for a walk, sit by the water. Somebody make me laugh damn it! Yes, it’s all true. Thank you for your posts. Love you.

    Like

    1. Love you too! Sometimes you have to let yourself be “prickly”

      Like

  4. Totally feel all of this.

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this:
search previous next tag category expand menu location phone mail time cart zoom edit close