She Ain’t Dead Yet

I have been blogging on my site since October of 2019. Originally, I planned on writing two blog posts per week. I successfully wrote two blog posts per week from October until March. In March I realized that rather than feeling enthusiastic and passionate about blogging I was feeling anxiety and pressure to create output at that frequency. I struggled with enjoying watching my visitor and view stats climb while my spirits plummeted. Then, I had a moment of clarity……

I created this blog for me to share with the world my reinvention, my pain, my joy and my growth out of some difficult life experiences. The goal was to share authentically with others who may be in similar circumstances or share like feelings to reduce loneliness, increase connectedness and perhaps even shift our collective expectations of self. The goal was not to gain followers and regurgitate internet BS just for the sake of posting something. The goal was not to become a blogosphere sensation and catapult into insta-fame with broader opportunities to create and share. Although I’d be a liar if I didn’t admit that may be a teensy desire of mine.

With all of these things in mind I will stay the course whether people visit my site or not. Because from what I have gleaned from others perseverance is a necessity of blogging.

So I say to you all, as much as to myself:

I ain’t dead yet and neither is my dream!

We just had to slow down and keep our balance in life. Truly, knowing when to say no or back off is a pretty big deal for me. In the past I have been the queen of overscheduling and overdoing. Creating a massive shit show and morphing into a giant tense bitch on wheels so that all of the “fun” I have stuffed into our lives becomes not enjoyable to any of us. I can’t very well preach “Live in the present” if I am not practicing that mindset. Learning to be and enjoy and slow down has been a real gift to me. Not that I have mastered it yet. But there has been definite progress. I realized that when I die no one is going to care how much I accomplished off of my infinite “To Do” list. The only rat race or climb to the top I am in are the ones I choose to participate in. I don’t have to keep pace with anyone. I certainly don’t want to be anything like “The Jones”. My current priorities are filling up my soul by spending time doing what I love with who I love and spreading love. Pretty simple. But not really when you exist in a world that promotes constant consumerism. When you are the type of person who self validates through accomplishment and goal achievement. Shifting and believing less is more is a challenge that runs way deeper than just saying no. It means that I have had to learn a different way to feel good about myself. It requires me to understand to my core that I am enough because of who I am and how I live rather than what I have or have not accomplished. While I am in no way knocking bloggers or other people who manage to create daily or pack a lot of stuff into their schedules, I know that’s not for me. At least not right now.

My stats may be on the decline but I am growing away!

xxxxx

Melissa

5 thoughts on “She Ain’t Dead Yet

  1. Bridget Hammond May 16, 2019 — 11:52 am

    Quality over quantity! ❤️

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Every week I look forward to reading your blog. Sometimes I can’t get to it right away, but it’s funny how on Thursdays now I think, Oh, it’s time for Reinvention! Your words have and do resonate with me almost every time. I feel your words. My hope is you do continue to write, communicating with people like me who need to read and feel your words. And I really do need it. Trying to be ok with myself, that right now today I am good enough, doing the best I can. Just thank you for writing that makes me think and wonder and know someone else has thoughts I do. 💕

    Like

    1. Thank you Deb. I appreciate you taking the time to read my stuff weekly. It’s funny how we are all so alike, us humans. Hugs!

      Like

  3. Omgosh!!! This is so wonderful!! I go through the same feelings too! Like I’ve put myself out there on the Internet and everybody knows my shit and I feel all exposed and naked and then I don’t write for a long time because I feel like it’s stupid and I’m just complaining I’m not even writing anything blah blah blah then I’m mad and feel like less of a person when I get zero likes it’s so ridiculous isn’t it? I’m glad you’re out here and I’m glad you’re writing I’ll read your blog!! Which btw I LOVE YOUR FORMAT!! I just changed mine again and I’m kind of lost all those even though I’ve been blogging for centuries login blogger like 10 years ago anyway it looks great what do you think would be a good thing for me to look at as far as learning a little more how to do this? Anyhoo…I see you and you are appreciated! – Judy

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I am very new to this. But wordpress formats helped me along, and you tube, and I took an online class. I am still not in love with my format. I look at other blogs and go Wow! how do I get here? Live and learn right? I disagree, people need the raw, the authentic! They need to connect with that depth that so many of us are afraid to go to! And I need the catharsis. The blog has been very helpful for me personally.

      Liked by 1 person

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