We at the Reinvention Household have had a hectic and emotionally charged few weeks. A mix of over-scheduling, a smattering of school and extracurricular events, a visit from extended family, the two month anniversary of my dad dying, the birthday of my dead brother. In addition to regular life stuff. I have found myself feeling exhausted and empty. As if I have been drained by an emotionally needy vampire.
The older I get the less I crave the non-stop action packed, balls to the wall excitement of my younger years. The more I relish the quiet moments at home with nothing pressing on the agenda. I enjoy social outings and events. I don’t have crowd anxiety or any aversion to the loud and bright sounds, sights and smells of the frenetic world at large. I just recognize that now I need, I need, as in non-negotiable, need time to break away and recharge my soul. Not only do I recognize the need. I now accept and respect my need requirement as a form of self-care. This fairly new self-insight begs the question: Have I always had this need and lacked the ability to understand myself? Or, is this need a development of my personal growth? Does that even matter?
Several years ago I became exposed to the idea of certain types of people as Empaths or Highly Sensitive People. As I read the describing information I immediately felt I was reading and learning more about my inner self. Traits and behaviors I didn’t quite understand seemed to click with clarity. “Aha, this is partially why I am who I am.” Prior to my discovery I strongly disliked and attempted to stifle my empath side. I hated feeling so affected so often but I didn’t know what those feelings meant about me. Learning about empath traits allowed me to also learn how to balance, set boundaries and enjoy my inner sense. As long as I take the time to treat myself correctly I find being sensitive is tremendously helpful in connecting with others and really soaking up all the world has to offer.
My recent demand of a low-key time out style weekend got me pondering….. Am I not an extrovert anymore? Once, I considered myself to be highly extroverted. I loved social engagements, people and felt buoyed and energized by the interactions. But now, that is not always the case. What, I wondered, was happening with me? So I did a little google research and discovered the terms Ambivert and Omnivert. And thought, huh, well, interesting. Now, to clarify. Some definitions indicate the terms may be used interchangeably while others stipulate that Omniverts can be more introverted in situations they do not care about and Ambiverts can flex to environments. Other descriptions imply the terms are total nonsense because as human beings we all exist on a continuum of personality traits. I’ll let you decide for yourself.
Here’s a little personality quiz if you’re into silly fun like that:
Personally, I think all this digging gave me a better understanding of who I have evolved into and how to better meet my needs. And…..this is a big one: Self-acceptance. I relinquish suffering from FOMO or guilt of saying “no thank you” to the endless stream of invite opportunities. I have gotten much better avoiding chronic over-scheduling.
I identify strongly as am Empath. Though I am still a little lost on exactly who I am- Ambivert or Omnivert? I understand that I don’t require a bunch of labels to practice good self-care and give myself the power of meeting my needs. I am prioritizing taking care of myself regardless of who I am or am not.
How do you identify yourself?