A Quarantine Decree

Can we just collectively take a moment to agree on one thing?……..

Can we all just agree that this virus and it’s implications and consequences have turned the entire world we reside and know upside down topsy-turvy?

Can we stop with the bullshit ploy at minimizing our emotions while maximizing our fears simultaneously with mixed messages of  “Safer at home” and “Our grandparents fought in wars. All we’re being asked to do is sit on the couch”. Or this utter nonsense “If you don’t come out of this quarantine with either: 1.) a new skill 2.) starting what you’ve been putting off like a new business 3.) more knowledge You didn’t ever lack the time, you lacked the discipline”. While being inundated with an endless stream of heart wrenching news, statistics and videos on any and all social media and television platforms.

I admit, I may have come into this thing guns-a-blazing for creativity and all that….. Then, life bitch slapped me with a little anxiety ridden melt-down…..that lasted several hiccuping days. We are all having them. At least every person I know. In our own little ways. On different days. We take turns talking or texting each other down to new normal, normal. We share coping strategies and lament over deep fears, spoken and unspoken.

Let’s just give ourselves the time to grieve this whole rolling unfinished explosive mess. Grieve the uncertainty, the fear of scarcity, the tremendous loss for millions, the lack of security for now and future.

Could we all just agree that this is a big fucking deal?! It’s an emotional trauma for each of us. In our own unique way. With our own tender spots and triggers. Some of us though unscathed by the virus itself, Covid-19 negative, will never recover from the tidal wave of destruction it caused.

So let’s stop with the fucking playing pretend. Like all I have to do is hang out in my luxury loungewear and binge watch some shit. As if our livelihood is not being actively sucked out from under us and normalcy is askew and I feel the massive amount of pain, suffering and tension of the human experience every day. As if I have not a care in the world for food or cleaning products or my home or my child or all those health care workers or grocery store workers or…..on and on I can go. And my poor innocent child that I willingly created for, for this? She is to inherit a life of quarantine and social distancing and mask wearing and pandemics unchecked in the name of greed?

I will not be shamed for feeling my big feelings and not feeling grateful every moment of every quarantine day. Nope, sorry not sorry.

I will commit to acknowledging my big feelings, sitting with those feelings, allowing those feelings to run their course (not my life). I commit to being real about and expressing my feelings whatever they may be- good, bad and ugly.

I will commit to holding space for others when they have their moments of anxiety, grief, sadness, anger and fear. I will not minimize or rush their process but allow them to grieve in their own space and time.

I will commit to perseverance, positivity and gratitude when and how I am able. I will engage in safe and healthy coping practices. I will do what I feel is right for myself and my family and use my best judgement for our physical and mental safety.

Let’s just be real. This is not an easy situation or time. I keep hearing or seeing “In these unprecedented times…blah blah blah” but then I also see a lot of implications for how I should be feeling, thinking and acting which are not cohesive with “unprecedented times”. I see a lot of name calling and shaming and derision amongst the masses. A lot of people telling others how are allowed to feel, how they should or should not behave. Fuck all that noise!

How about we agree to cut out the expectations and judgements and just be and allow others to be- whatever that looks like. Can we love and hold space for each other in these “unprecedented times”? That would be the real silver lining in all of this. Not me learning how to fucking knit or bake a pie or speak French. Can I be a kinder more compassionate human to myself and others?

A quarantine decree.

What’s yours?

xoxoxox

Melissa

17 thoughts on “A Quarantine Decree

  1. This is the best description of what’s going on. You’ve totally hit all the feels, and let’s be honest here – if you are comfy in your penthouse, binge watching your money grow, you’re some kind of an asshat. Yeah, I’m looking at you, Bezos. We don’t know what’s going to be on the other side, so we should be feeling stressed and frustrated and angry at people who din’t give two tiddlywinks, and wander about with no mask on. Not enough to pound on them, but enough to shoot laser dagger from our eyes at them.
    We’re doing what we can to support small business, our neighbors and our families. Even when the news out there is rough, friendships are being “knit” together in a new, and maybe stronger way. It’s not a lot, but I’m thankful for that.
    As for coming out of this with a new skill, or the ability to follow knitting patterns, or mastering making sushi at home… I don’t have the energy. We will get through. Maybe in pieces, but through.

    Liked by 4 people

    1. I am really holding onto- we persist. May not be pretty but we will. How’s school? Thanks for reading and supporting, as always!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I do have hopes we’ll come out of this a a kinder group of people.
        School is – ugly right now. I’m not managing my time very well, and it’s showing. I keep telling myself, just another 5 weeks, this semester is done, and I can move forward into something less evil than Ethics and Parasitology.

        Liked by 2 people

      2. Double ew. I am having trouble time managing with more time! There is a lot of frittering happening. You got it! PERSIST!

        Liked by 2 people

  2. Awesome post, Melissa! A lot of people need this. Because you’re right: these times are unprecedented, and also quite fucked up. We can take advantage of silver linings, but that doesn’t mean we can’t acknowledge our other emotions. It’s scary, and it’s okay to feel it. 🕊

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Thank you! Yes, it is scary and I think we owe it to ourselves and others to be real about our feelings. That’s how we better connect. Thanks for reading!

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Thank you! I was reading how I feel. I’ve been feeling guilty for feeling at times, overwhelmed, numb, and terrified. Instead of, grateful and positive and more productive. This is such a big fucking deal and I don’t think we are ever going to be back to the “normal” we had before THIS. Perseverance, yes, I will strive for that and continue to try to love and support others because we all need support. All of us. Grateful I am in good company. ❤️

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Definite props. It is a hard and fraught situation and I’m tired of feeling guilty because I haven’t painted the basement, made decoupage coasters, and finished my novel. You’re right, we need to take care of and honour our feels, whatever that looks like, as we struggle to adjust to this altered reality. Well done.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Quite a list you have there! Whew! Yeah- this is not “free time” or a “vacation”

      Liked by 1 person

  5.  Less than two years after I was married, as I sat in an office filling out divorce paperwork, my lawyer told me I could easily, legally change my surname to anything I would like without extra paperwork or a fee, thanks to the name-change order in the decree. I demurred. Getting divorced was difficult enough; I wasn’t ready for another self-reinvention.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I haven’t felt “ready” for a single of my reinventions! I guess the power lies in how I choose to reinvent- as u did! Thanks

      Liked by 1 person

  6. I needed this! Everyone is being so productive but I’m not, and it was getting to me! Thanks for this 💕💕

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’m so glad to hear that. I wanted to keep it real and not “social media fluff!”. Hang in there!

      Liked by 1 person

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